Today, was a day like any other or so it would look like. It was actually one of the worst days I have had in months. As my day was written my attitude blotched every good moment I could have had. This day stunk because of me. I haven't been spending time with God as much as I should, and I am here to say, like many of you know that is the biggest mistake you could ever make because the value and crucial wisdom you receive from spending time with the Lord is honestly priceless and affects each part of your day. You want to know the most ironic thing about all of this? Maybe you've experienced it too; I blame God for everything "bad" that has happened today! Isn't that just sick? It's like spitting in the face of the one who feeds you, he doesn't deserve my bad attitude, he pours love, mercy and grace upon me (ok and discipline which is definitely needed) and I say, "you know God, it's not good enough, I wanted my day to go this way or that way..."
Right now I am swimming in a pool of my own sin (wearing a one piece suit with a skirt on the waist-eww) and feeling so awful about it. I'll tell you two examples from my self induced bad day. First, we're looking at buying a house and we went to view this one home today and here is the difference between a person who is daily in the word (Preston) and another (me) who is a turd. Me: "Wow, well I sure hope we don't have a wind storm cause we won't have a house anymore!" referring to the gigantic tree in the front yard. Whereas Prest says: "Hey look at that, (referring to the mound of newspapers strewn upon the doorstep) the house comes with reading material! sweet!" I mean what a good attitude, I learn sooo much from my husband, and he's always good for a laugh.
The other example is that Jake is not napping in his crib today and yesterday - which is very very out of the ordinary and he stands there and crys, the cry that says, I'm not feeling well or the I NEED you mommy, just a little cuddle and then I'll try again cry!! He doesn't normally do this so I should go, it is a privilege to have him as my son and to cuddle him, but I just get frustrated and start pulling out my hair...ok exaggeration but I thought it fit the situation. So all this to say, he is finally asleep and I am going to spend a looong time with the Lord because I need it so badly, I can't function without it, and that my friend is a privilege.
Update: I read and Prayed and I'm so thankful, I am refreshed. Here is one convicting thing God lead me to, Psalm 119:9-16
"How can a young man keep his way pure?
BY LIVING ACCORDING TO YOUR WORD
I seek you with ALL MY HEART
Do not let me stray from your commands
I have HIDDEN YOUR WORD IN MY HEART
so that I might not sin against you
Praise be to you oh Lord
teach me your decrees
With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.
I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees
I WILL NOT NEGLECT YOUR WORD"
God is so faithful!!