Thursday, September 25, 2008

It has been a week....

Wow. Where do I even start? So many emotions that have been racing through me.  It is absolutely incredible and bizarre how one moment can change your entire life.  It is a great reflection on the little things that you take for granted that you really shouldn't. The emotion I have faced the most is that I just MISS HIM so deeply. I miss the oddest things, like watching him shave or choose what shoes to wear - (his rainbow flipflops usually won out), or  seeing him sound asleep, or playing with his beloved and dorky I-phone, ok, I admit it is a pretty sweet phone.  And I miss our ten o'clock dates every night when we would climb into bed and read "The Love Dare" book, which is the BEST book for marriage I have ever read. And then we would spend some time talking about our relationship, our strengths and weaknesses and how our marriage ties so intricately into our relationship with the Lord.  We most certainly didn't have the perfect marriage, who does? But it was wonderful and so much fun.  

This is the most difficult journey I have ever had to walk.  But what God is doing with such a terrible situation is so incredible and beautiful. It helps me get through each day. Preston often quoted the verse, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" - Romans 8:28
And through the MANY lives that have been touched by Preston and our situation, God's purpose is so evident.  He wants to change lives! Yours and mine. I am not God and do not know the full extent of what his purpose is, but there is no doubt that part of his plan is to make himself known. That makes me super excited because I have a relationship with Him and I know how amazing and fulfilling it is so of course I want everyone to experience the same lasting joy and hope I and many others have.  Wouldn't it be selfish and ridiculous of me if I had the cure to cancer but I was too scared or nervous to share it with someone who was dying from the disease? Well it is too selfish of me to let you die and not to share Jesus Christ with you.  If you want to look more into this check out, 

Someone shared this verse with me that is entirely fitting, "Now I want you to know brothers that what has happened to me has really served to advance the Gospel" - Philippians 1:12  Paul wrote this when he was chained in prison. Terrible circumstance, but the ultimate and perfect good came from it.  I have really crazy circumstances, but if the gospel is being shared then it is worth it.

THANKYOU SO SO SO MUCH to everyone who has loved and supported us!! From your comments, to your emails, texts, phone calls, hugs and tasty meals.  What a legacy Jacob and baby #2 will be able to look back on, not just that their father was an amazing man, but also that people loved and supported us in our biggest moment of need.

"I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you." - Isaiah 46:4

"I lift up my eyes to the hills - 
Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121


Murray's Corner said...

you're life and strength and testimony is such an inspiration and will forever change the way I look at things.
All I can say is WOW. I've checked your blog a million times today in hopes of finding a new one....I'm excited to check out the love dare book! God is at work here! My family is praying for you!

Lindsey said...

Praise God.
As always, Thank for you posting:)

B-Huggz said...

and our prayers will stay as strong as at first...for your heart to not be sad. and for you to feel love. this changed my life. ♥

Anonymous said...

Thank you for reminding us to think of the little things. You have blessed us by your post. Jessica

Mandi Bartel said...

tara, would you be able to email me your address and do you like coffee or tea?

love you, mandi

Vinj&Kath said...

What a beautiful post tara. I am and have been amazed at how God is so with you through all this.It's true that God is there, faithful, and it's Hm who sustains us. God has touched so mnay lives through this.
I am thinking baout you so much and will keep praying for you and your family. Lots of love.

Leanne Marie said...

Hey Beautiful, just wanted to say tat I am thinking about you lots and praying that you Jesus is surrounding you with His arms daily! Love you!


Anonymous said...

You don't know me but I wanted to say I saw your story in the Vernon news paper and was touched by your courage & faith. I am sorry for your loss and so pleased that you have the strength to learn from it and grow from it and help others from it. Your children are very lucky to have such a strong Mother. Blessings, Tammy

Anonymous said...

Hi mom came across your story in the Vernon newspaper and told me about it, and i had to share with you.

I also lost my husband tragically in a hiking accident..well 14 years ago. It was September 4th, 1994, and my husband was hiking with a friend, when he slipped on some rocks and was swept over Siffluer falls.
What really touched me to your story is, that he was also a youth pastor, and I was 24. We were only married for just over a year, and we were trying for children, But the Lord had other ideas.

I just wanted to tell you to cling tight to your faith and trust in the Lord that He is in Control!! I look back on my life at that time, and it was at times very dark and lonely, but God was always the light at the end of that very long tunnel. Someone said to me during that time, that God must have something special for you..and it was hard for me to focus on that, but, I now look at my life and see that He did carry me through!!

I have a wonderful husband who loves the Lord, and 2 beautiful girls, that God has blessed us with.

I also believe that it was Gerry's time to go to be with the Lord, and at times it just didnt seem fair that I was left behind to pick up the pieces, but God gave me the courage to go on, every step, by baby step.

I just wanted to share with you..may God bless you and give you peace..because we WILL see them again!!
Take care