Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas is coming...

Well the Jakester and I are super sick right now, so we are somewhat housebound as most of my friends have kids too and I am not a fan of infecting others!! Although, last night I went to a cookie exchange with my girlfriends and had a great time. We talked alot, isn't that what girls do best? We tried not to talk baby, so you know, you can actually get to know each other better!? But kids are a huge part of our lives so it didn't work to well!

I haven't blogged much because life has been hard and I'm not entirely in love with idea of pouring my sad heart out to everyone all the time, but as the last couple weeks have progressed and I've clung to Jesus he's taught me a few things. What else should I have expected?

I have very much appreciated your prayers for us over the holidays. The truth is, it's been really difficult seeing everyone go out and set up their trees and "all that jazz" for Christmas with their families. But honestly, is the season about a stinkin tree? It's not about the presents, or the decorations or the big fat guy in a suit! It's not even completely about who we're with.
Ok, we all know this, but isn't it easy to forget?
The hope of the world is not in any of these things listed above, but in how God changed the world by sending Jesus! He is the mighty God who took on human form and lived a perfect life because we couldn't. He died an awful death on a cross. He took God's wrath for our sins so that we could be forgiven and receive the precious gift of eternal life - if we choose to repent and accept it. When I am reminded that those traditions of Christmas can't satisfy me, I won't be disappointed because I have a much greater hope to look forward to - an eternity of satisfaction in the presence of the living God!! I hope the realities of this will penetrate our lives, not just at Christmas, but each day of the year.

And that is (as cheesy as this saying goes) the reason for the season. Jesus changed my life abundantly and He is the only reason I get through each day with joy and hope.
I think it's amazing that Preston is now with the One we celebrate!!! His first Christmas in Heaven! Is that not an incredible thought?

Speaking of hope, as I was in the slumps this week -isn't that a pretty mental picture? I was sharing with a friend that I felt entirely overwhelmed at the very thought of having two kids and doing it alone. I know whole heartedly I will have help, but at the end of the day I am still 100% their parent and they are my responsibility. But God is faithful, and he used my friend to speak to me, she reminded me what Romans 5:3 says,

"...we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering PRODUCES perseverance, perseverance character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

She said, "thank goodness your baby boy isn't due tomorrow! The Lord is preparing you and strengthening you. Your mama muscles will be strong enough when baby #2 comes along and perhaps not one moment sooner." God knows FAR better than me why and when things should happen. My friend was so right. In this moment I feel scared and overwhelmed, but look at even over the last few months how he has grown me and is making me stronger with each day? Should I not expect him to do the same for me between now and April? And in that regard, for the rest of my life?

I'll leave you with a sweet picture of my little nerd! Just like his mommy! (They are fake glasses)


Anonymous said...

hope you're feeling better soon, it makes sense to feel overwhelmed at the thought of raising two boys, but your friend is right, God is preparing you. I just read in the daily bread today and was reminded that without Christ we can do NOTHING, but with Him we can do ANYTHING!! That's a pretty awesome thought!

Jessica said...

"Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."

Shelly and Jared said...

Love you Tara! That is quite possibly the cutest picture I've ever seen.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing with us and reminding us of things we need to be reminded of. You are so right about Gods will be ready when the time comes. We love you and are praying for you.
Jessica N.

Jen (a.k.a. motor mouth) said...

Tara, you are an incredibly gifted writer & I hear God's word and love speaking through you. He will make you stronger. I pray for you daily. Hope you all are feeling better soon!
Jennifer COok (pre-k A MMO)

Rustywolverine said...

Tara, I know that you haven't the slightest clue who I am, but I feel compelled to leave this comment. I have been going through one of the toughest times of my life to this point, and that's saying a lot since God saved me five years ago from a drug and alcohol addiction. I recently left a church that was not teaching the whole council of God. I never realized how important it was to know God, and to know about God. To know about his promises and to trust that He is always in control. Here a couple of months ago I was listening to way of the master radio (wretched radio) and they told your story. I listened and I cried when I thought about what you went through. But the thing that made me cry the most was your love and understanding for God. You weren't mad at him, and you went and tried to comfort the driver of the car that hit your husband. I was so humbled that day and I remember saying "that's where I want to be!" You see I came from a denomination that would have never said that God took your husband. They would have blamed it on all kinds of things, believing somehow that they were doing God a favor by defending him. In my mind they actually take away from God's glory when they assume that he is not fully in control. I always tell your story when trying to relay this point to someone. I hope that you find joy in knowing that God was glorified that day by you and your husband. I usually spend Christmas day alone feeling sorry for myself, but I have decided that I am going to spend that day praying for you and others that have lost loved ones, and hopefully somehow I can bring glory to God. May the lamb that was slain receive the full reward of his suffering.