Friday, February 06, 2009

Coming up

Wow, so much has happened since I last blogged, it feels like it was ages ago...sometimes I wish it was.  There are times when it feels like Preston was just here making lunch with us and then times when it truly feels like an eternity past.  

I can honestly say I am doing pretty good! I am constantly in awe of how God is leading me on this healing journey.... daily I have questions for him, momently I need him and he is there! He is a constant peace and powerful source of hope in my life.  It's more real than anything I've ever known.  I love being able to look back and remember how I felt, even a week ago and see since then what God has taught me and helped me through.  I don't know the "proper" way to grieve, if there is such a thing, but God knows....and I trust him.
I feel as though I am actually beginning to accept Preston's death.  It hurts to even say this, but I am getting more and more used to him not being here. Five months may be so short in the scheme of things, but when you face the emptiness every single waking moment it is an eternity.  I miss him immensely, but I am accepting our new life little by little.

Next week is the beginning of a busy schedule for us! We are going to Vegas, which may seem like such an odd place to go under the circumstances, but it's for a great reason.  I can't say to many details on the blog, but I am speaking at an insurance conference!  Kind of like being an advocate for them. Our story will be shared in a very emotional video which I just watched and boy did I cry! Then I will come up and speak for a few minutes. Please pray that I don't pass out on stage or spit on the audience... ha ha! But for real, pray that I do a good job and that God will use me.  
After that the time should zoom by to when I get to meet my sweet little baby! And in the third "uncomfortable" trimester I am so thankful!  Between now and then my mother in law is coming and then my sister will visit, followed by my parents and I have a ton of baby showers - tis the season to have a baby!  Then my best buddy and our kids will take a little trip, oh and Jake will be turning two! I cannot even believe it has been two years!  
Please pray for our future - I know that is a very vague request, but God knows those details! And for our healing. I will never be able to thank you all enough for praying for us!!! I am so so grateful! And I really appreciate all your sweet notes, I read and take each one to heart.  


Anonymous said...

Hey Tara, just wanted to write you a little hello, I learn so much from your blog and am always encouraged to trust in God more and to allow him to show me how to walk with him and let him lead me. Thank you so much for being so candid in your writting. I think it is neat that already God is using you in big ways to touch peoples lives, good luck in Vegas! You are in my thoughts and prayers often! Love Shawna

Anonymous said...

hey tara!! glad to hear things are going well!! we're praying for you, hope all goes well in vegas, dont gamble too much money away! haha!

Anonymous said...

we are so glad to hear things are going well for you :) we will have to come and visit once u have the baby and are all settled with him :) im excited for you! yay! talk to u soon!

Anonymous said...

We will be praying for you. I am sooooo excited to see what God is going to do in your life.Jessica N

Jen (a.k.a. motor mouth) said...

Hey Tara, I'm so excited to hear how it goes in Vegas. You are always in my prayers, however I'll add to it, that you don't spit on the audience ;)
Just remember, people love you for who you are, and God is doing some incredible things in your life, I can't wait to see how it all works out. I'll say it again, you are an ispiration to many. Your grace is amazing.
Good luck!!!!

Shelly said...

Hey Friend!
I know God is going to use you...ya know why? Because your heart is so open for Him - willing to step up for Him - I'm sure He is excited for this opportunity!
I'm going to miss you while you're gone but hey - that's right - I'll be in Hawaii which will make it a touch easier :).

Anonymous said...


stay awesome!