Sunday, April 05, 2009

Baby baby baby

I am SO ready to be done being pregnant! This is such a girly post I'm sure! But I have been so hormonal lately, one minute I want to cry and the next I'll want to laugh and then I'll feel like punching something! Thankfully I haven't come through on the last one, much to my mom's delight ha ha! My sweet baby should arrive this week, I am due to be induced if I want and I think I do want to be! The reason for the inducement is because I really want all my emotional support there, my mom, my sister and my best friend Kristin! And I think it's much easier on a two year old when they know what's coming, rather than being jolted out of bed at 3am to discover mom is going away and he's going to stay with friends, although I'm sure he'll get over it quite fast! So please pray for us:)

The question I have received alot lately is, "How are you doing?" and ppl seem to phrase it in a very concerned and sympathetic tone that only cries, I can't imagine what this is like for you without Preston. And I am very appreciative of anyone caring! I try to answer them as best I can, but sometimes I feel like I should be more upset than I am or at least ppl expect me to be. Mind you, I have many moments where it feels like the world is crashing around me and I cannot imagine going on another minute let alone pushing out this baby and living afterwards! I'm nervous, but I am excited as well. It has never been, Preston, Jake, the baby and me so I won't have anything to compare it to like I do now. It will be sad in it's own way I have no doubts, but I'd like to see it as a new adventure. I had the baby blues with Jacob (a milder form of postpartum) for about a month so I am expecting it again, but I am trying my best to focus on the cup being half full, however, realizing it will be difficult.
Isn't it true how we always try to plan for the unknown? Even what course our emotions will run? You can see how my mind is racing, trying to prepare myself for the good, the bad and the ugly! But in reality there is only so much I can do. I'm sure I can even damage myself by thinking too much, wait I know I can! God reminded me of this last night as I had my quiet time with him. Slow down girl! How have you survived the past 7 months? Has it been by me planning how I would respond to the next days events? Not at all, especially b/c it never goes as I imagined it would! I trusted in God! With all his unfailing love and mercy he has sustained and strengthened me! And it's almost embarrassing that he had to remind me of this again. He sent me such a overwhelming peace that softly whispered, "I'm going to take care of you, just like I have been doing" It was one of those, "DUHH" moments! I absolutely love love love that God never changes, though our circumstances change moment by moment he does not. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and I'm really praying that one day knowing this truth will just become so second nature that I never have to be reminded again.

Alot of this "trying" to plan for the upcoming week stems from Friday. I thought I was leaking amniotic fluid so I called the advice nurse who sent me straight to the hospital, just in case it was fluid. I was so nervous, I was walking into the unknown and as I packed Jake's snack bag (he was coming until we knew exactly what was happening) I was intensely quiet, shaken with emotion. We got there and they tested for fluid, and it turned out, I had just peed my pants!!!!! Oh my goodness! I just went to the hospital because I peed my stinkin pants! How embarrassing! But I swear to this moment I'm pretty sure I can feel when I pee my pants, how could I not know this day? All in all it was slightly humorous (after the fact!) a good trial run to the hospital, and an even better reminder to keep my eyes on Jesus, especially in the rush.

Jake is doing pretty good with the prospect of having a little brother, he seems to go through ups and downs, he is human after all! I'd love to get inside his head and see how much he actually understands though! I think he believes my belly is not called a belly, it's called baby. He loves the bobby (the nursing pillow) and watches t.v while sitting in it, so after I told him it was for the baby (oops) he let me know he did not want baby, "no baby" he says, I asked, but why Jake? He responded with "baby cry!" As he imitates a crying baby. I love that boy!

I will try to update the blog shortly after he arrives, and facebook as well, but who knows what will happen:) Thanks for ALL your prayers and sweet words!

15 comments:

ashleyalvina said...

haha...oh Tara, you're cute and I love you. This reminds me of a post you wrote while you were pregnant with Jake (something about doing two things at once...I won't say it exactly but I'm sure you remember); even back then I found myself laughing with joy at your honesty and thrilled for the new baby that got to have you as a mom - that hasn't changed much. Your honesty astounds me. Praying for you through this week;
love
ashley

Kristin said...

Buddy I love that you just told everyone that you peed your pants. It's your honesty that makes you so irresistibly lovely.

So excited to be there to meet the Newblett! : )

Barclee said...

our daily prayers will increase this week. i am happy and excited for you. i pray His arms will hold your heart even closer in the upcoming weeks.

-b

Gretchen said...

dear tara, you will do amazing with your delivery, i know! you have so many people praying for you, me included! the SAME exact thing happened to me while i was pregnant with evangeline...i thought i was leaking amniotic fluid...and wasn't :) and i went to the hospital, and maybe just the nervousness brought on my contractions, b/c i was contracting every 5 minutes by the time i got there! but it was false labor. then about a week later i was induced, which wouldn't be my first preference, but i was certainly nice b/c it helped us plan better for the practical things. so you will do great!! can't wait to hear the news of the little bro. love, gretchen

Anonymous said...

I am so excited!!!! I cant wait to see the new baby and read about the fun adventures ahead of you with two boys!! My boys keep me laughing all the time and Im sure yours will do the same. God is faithful and Im shouting with joy for you as you embark on this new adventure! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!Jessica N.
P.S.- So when are you coming to Texas so we can meet the new baby? Weve got a whole lot of mops moms waiting to meet you one day!

Jenny said...

Hi Tara,

I found your blog through Bonnie's blog (she's a friend of several friends, but I don't know her personally either!). :) I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and share something I read in a devotional the other day that spoke to me. Your post today reminded me of it. Here it is:

"God gives me enough strength each day to get through whatever happens that day. He doesn't cover the "what-ifs" I dream up in my head, because I'm not actually facing those. They don't exist, and they may never exist, and I don't need God's support to face them because they're not real. If one of the "what-ifs" happens to come true, God will give me what I need to get through it then. So I just need to stop stressing."

I hope you have a great day today!

Jen (a.k.a. motor mouth) said...

Oh my word. I laughed so hard that you told the world you peed your pants!!! Your humor is great Tara!
I'll continue to lift you and Jake up in prayer, and I've been praying especially for peace & strength as you go into this week. Sharon let us all know you are having the baby this week, so you've been on my heart!
Good luck!!!!!!!!
Jen

Anonymous said...

ahh tara you are so funny. i wish i could have seen your face when they told you it was only pee. haha.

-about jake and saying no baby, it's funny you mention that because i was watching the mommy show this morning and that is what they were talking about, and they found that a lot of kids responded that way because they were around so many crying babies, so i'll pray that jake loves this little guy.
love you and thinking of you so much in this next few days. happy pushing.
danelle

Joel and Dominique Rempel said...

Tara the fact that you peed your pants makes me miss you so much. Remember the time we went to Danelle's farm and you decided it was time for the moon to come out but something came with it. ahahaha. I just love you more then you'll ever know. we'll keep you and your baby belly and Jake in our prayers this week.I miss you friend

Anonymous said...

wow ur already ready to be induced, crazy! seems like we found out u were pregnant yesterday :) im eo exicited for u to have this baby i cannot wait to hear he is here. Im sure jake will be a GREAT big brother and will do perfectly! best wishes through this week and the weeks to come :) thinking of u ALWAYS!!
STEF

Rebekah :) said...

I feel a little awkward leaving a comment and you don't know me at all. I found your blog and have been visiting often to pray for you and see how you and jake are.

I am praying for you all this week and the upcoming weeks as well.

And don't worry about the pee- I did that too with my first child- I'll be those nurses see it more often than you'd believe.

Have a blessed week! Rebekah :)

Chillin' with Lemonade said...

Tara-

Praying for you. Totally understand the "ppl asking" and you thinking you should be worse off. We can only curl up in the dark for so long, huh? Thanks for posting. Your words are a little reminder to me that God does love.

Sarah said...

I just found your blog through another.....and tears are flowing as I read through your thoughts.
You are a sweet and precious woman of God, and His love shows through your reactions to this tragedy.

I will be thinking of you and your sweet little family, as you face the days and weeks ahead. Know that God has His loving hand on your life!

Anonymous said...

Tara, I have been thinking of you lots and I will be praying for your labour and delivery to go well. Reading your blog today made me laugh and cry, the fact that you told everyone you peed your pants just reminds me of hanging out with you at camp and all the times you made me and everyone else laugh. You are a stunning woman and I am always encouraged to live a better life for Christ after I read your blog. Thanks for sharing your life with us and touching those who know you and those who have never met you. How cool it is that you are being covered in prayer by your family in Christ all over the country, and more likely the world and many of them don't even know you. Praise the Lord for his forsite in intending that to be a follower of Christ makes you a member in a larger family. We love you Tara, our prayers are with you!
Love Shawna
PS Next time you make it out to the sunny okanagan I would love to see you and meet your boys :)

dana martin said...

oh tara you are so cute with your pee story! I love how honest you are. I'm praying for you and thinking of you lots. You are very inspirational and your blog always lifts me up and reminds me of truths that I always seem to forget.