I survived! I made it through a hard day and I'm thankful. Fathers day wasn't as bad as I imagined. Although I skipped out on church because it is really difficult to hear how people will be spending their fathers day. Seeing fathers and their children is hard in general, but God gives me strength through those moments as you can't really hide from looking at intact families! And in time, with the Lord by my side I will heal from that pain.
For Fathers day we watched home videos with Preston in them! That was great, when I watch them I often pretend I am back in that moment for just a minute. When I snap out I still find it so surreal that this reality is my life, and yet the gifts that Preston left which is our boys brings me endless joy. When Jake saw daddy on the videos he waves and says, "hi daddy!...." such innocence. And you know what, the one thought that gets me through every sad moment is the amazing HOPE we have that one day we will be together with Preston again. That's real.
Today was the video shoot! I woke up and wanted to barf. I have had a few panic attacks in my life and I came close to another one this morning. Simply because it's hard to relive the accident! And I want so badly to do a good job because this is important! Life insurance is invaluable and I hope everyone, especially those that have kids has a policy (it's very inexpensive). The people who were in charge of this day were absolutely amazing! They were sweet and funny and just easy going! That was a relief for me and made everything easier. They interviewed me, mother, Kristin and Jonathan and then asked Jake and Susannah some questions! ha ha, I'm kidding, no exploiting kids here. Then they took some "B roll" (where it will be dubbed over with music or talking) they had us "talk" to one another or play together or do the makerana (ha ha that would have been fun though).
And now it's done! I'm excited to see the final version! Hopefully I'll be able to share it on here.
This week (the 26th) will be our fifth wedding anniversary:( I can't really talk about it much cause it makes me sad, 5 is a big number. Simple as that.
Thanks for all your prayers!! I'll end with some pics of my adorable children. Praise God for my kids.