Christmas

Micah is Such a happy baby!

Adorable outfits!

Snuggling and reading with Grandma!

To eat or not to eat? he ate!

C U T E!

Sister love

Precious picture: Jake putting his Daddy's "1st Xmas ornament" up

We were beyond blessed to have a great Christmas. I think back to last year and how everything Christmas - "intact families," Christmas trees, Christmas music, Christmas movies just tore at me. This year was still sad, but the pain didn't ripple through me like it did last year. Time really does help, it doesn't make the pain vanish (dang it) but my spirit is much more calm. I know I will always carry some form of pain, but time and the Lord working change it and maybe even soften the pain.

Christmas was fairly undramatic, I wasn't super emotional, and not really uppity either, I kind of just was, if that makes sense. I really enjoyed watching the boys and participating in all the festivities, i even decorated my house and listened to Christmas music with joy. However, that shadow looms, the one that reminds me how very surreal that Preston will never interact with his boys on Christmas morning, he will never put together their toys, he'll never help me choose their gifts or buy me jewelry on Christmas eve (our tradition) or eat my oh so yummy almond roca (once I discover how to make it ha). I don't imagine my mind will ever wrap itself around the idea that physical Preston is our past... it just seems so.. so... wrong.

My family spoiled Jake and Micah, I bought them a few presents, my parents bought them a dozen! But that's what grandparents and aunts and uncles are for right? kidding... :)

It always seems the presents I think Jake will like (the little piano or buzz light year) pale in comparison with the 2$ m&m holder he got, go figure, I could have saved alot of money. Micah likes everything, he loves, loves people and for that reason hates to sleep. When I am rocking him or nursing him at night and he hears Jake's voice, that sweet little head of his turns sharply to the door. It is incredible to watch them together, even now at such a young age. Micah just learned to crawl - watch out cupboards! and he attempts to follow jake and play with whatever he is playing with, so precious! My prayer for them is that they truly will become best friends and that a bond will grow between them that is like no other.

Jake is saying things every hour it seems that are priceless!! We have been talking alot about the reason for Christmas - Jesus' birth and he always follows with, "you bewieve in Jesus, you go to Heaven! He loves to sing Jingle Bells (his favorite part being "HEY!") and twinkle twinkle little star.

Please keep us in your prayers, a friend told me she was praying for us in these ways and I thought they were perfect, if you remember to pray for just one I'll be entirely thankful:

that the Lord will comfort my heart and take as much of the heartache away as possible.

that the Lord will give me a great sense of meaning and purpose in my life.

that the Lord will use my life in a powerful way for His Kingdom.

that He will give me wisdom for everything I have to face, esp. with the boys.

that the boys will walk with the Lord like Preston did.

that people will surround me with physical and emotional support - a big thing for me.

And now I'm going to sleep! Why do I always manage to stay up until midnight every single night!?!? I know Micah will wake up in the night and at exactly 8am every morning and yet I still go to bed late!