Sunday, January 03, 2010

email

I was randomly checking my old email account, and I came across a "Preston" folder. I had kept every single email that Preston had ever written me. While I read through a few of them I was captivated... by his love for me, my love for him... and while it was extremely painful to read I was really just so thankful that we had such a wonderful relationship. I had to share two emails... one from before we were married and one after...

Engaged

Tara,

Wow.... so much to say.... I'm trying to figure out where to start....You are incredible!! Every little thing you do.... i love!! I love you so much.... everytime i see a picture of you... or hear your voice.... my eyes tear up.... not that you're ugly.... he he..... it's the fact that i'm a thousand miles away from the greatest person in the world..... the one person that i love more than anyone else.... i want to be with you soo bad!! i miss you so much it makes me sick!! i can't think about that too long....

what a Godsend you are!!! So indescribable!! Words cannot describe the love i have for you!! I would without hesitation give my life for you..... gosh..... i can't get you off my mind!!! i love it!!!! everyone around me is probably tired of me going on and on about tara..... the most incredible woman in the world..... and she loves me!!!!! and i love her!!!!! how can i complain about anything? God has already granted me the greatest gift possible in life here on earth.....that is you!!!!!

I hold on so tight to every word you speak, or write!!! Every time.... i find myself not breathing until i've completed a paragraph, or a sentence ( i can't hold my breath very well ) .... you are perfect for me Tara!! I love every single thing you do, from every giggle to every sound to every sarcastic remark to every time you open your heart and your passions to me...... oh wow!!!! how great it is to be loved by you!! (isn't that a song)

I love you with all of my heart Tara!!! I want to be with you everywhere you go...... (i know... kinda like a stalker... he he) i'm excited for what is to come in the next year!!! so excited!!! Tara.... keep God first in all that you do!!! His love is so much deeper and wider and higher than mine could ever be!!!! He is the reason we live..... He is our joy!!!!

With undying love, Your soul-mate!!!

Married


Subject: you are so dear to me!

Tara,

No, you're not a deer, but you are dear to me.... he he... that was a good one!? Anyways, I really miss you! You are such a wonderful woman... I love your heart Tara, I know that you want to serve God and you want to live for Him.... Thank you for your willingness to work full-time right now...I can't wait until I can take that burden off of your shoulders!

Know that I love you more than words could ever express! You are God's gift and grace to me in this life...

You are my fire baby! I love you with everything in me!

With undying love, Preston F.U.L

F.U.L - it means, Forever undying love, ya ya, kind of cheesy, but we had read in a book that this couple had a saying like that that they left all over the house for one another to find... on notes in shoes, on the toilet paper roll (ha ha) on mirrors, on the bed etc you get the point. It was just a way of saying, I'm thinking of you and I love you with all of my heart. It melted my heart each time I found a note from Preston with F.U.L.... forever undying love - it has so much more meaning now that he is gone. God knew, even then and he directed us, even in our cheesy romantic ways.

9 comments:

Jen (a.k.a. motor mouth) said...

Tara,
What a gift you found! Thanks for sharing. Praying for you and your boys daily.
Jennifer

Lindsey said...

Oh cheese ball:) I can hear his voice while I read this and his signature laugh.
So much fun. :) Thank you for sharing this with us!!!

Pam Newby said...

What a huge blessing that you found these emails. You will NEVER have to wonder how Preston felt about you. You guys had a beautiful marriage and friendship!

ashleyalvina said...

Oh Tara, these emails read like a true romance. sigh.

...sigh.

Anonymous said...

What an amazing relationship the two of you must have had. Did you count the exclamation marks?? He loved (loves) you so much! What a treasure to be able to find those emails and to hold on to them. Love letters of the 21st Century!

Anonymous said...

thanks for censoring the emails, we didn't need to read all the suggestive stuf! haha! very cool memories to keep!
love ya,
Renee

Anonymous said...

Thought about you a lot today. Just wanted you to know! Love ya and praying peace comes to you and yours. JN

Anonymous said...

those emails are incredible! wish i had love like that!!

Anonymous said...

Tara,

I have been quietly following your blog for a few months now. Your strength, dignity, and sense of humor amazes me! I noticed that you posted links to your favorite sites, one being Preston's blog. I immediately noticed a post that he wrote in response to the death of Steven Curtis Champman's daughter. He wrote:

"God is in control... yes, even in the midst of tragedy and great evil, God is in control. God, in His incredible wisdom, turns evil and tragedy for good for those who love Him! What an incredible promise that we can take hold of in times of tragedy and sadness!"

What fitting words, out of the mouth your husband. It's like they were meant to provide comfort to you. You have done an amazing job illustrating this, and Preston would be so very proud!

xoxoxo