Life is good!! SO good! I have been seeing God working through my trials in a big way. And it has nothing to do with a guy or any other earthly form of happiness! That's a huge deal because so often we pray for something, for a significant other, a new job, a baby, new direction in life and the list goes on and on. But when the days pass and we discover that those things aren't coming our way for the time being it can be discouraging, frustrating and really cause us to either draw closer to God or walk away. We always hear about those people in the Bible or throughout history who remained faithful to God through their trials and I so wanted to stay faithful to God. Ya, when life got hard (again) I wanted to give up on him but I couldn't because I knew he was real.
So last post I said how i was just trying to fill myself with Jesus everyday and it has been so amazing. And that is something anyone can do:) I read one of the verses that says "delight yourself in the Lord" hmmmm what does that even mean!? We can talk about the Bible all we want but if we dont' live it out, what's the use? So i asked God to show me and throughout reading the Bible I discovered that what I think it means is to: 'Make God your prize and your goal in life because there is absolutely nothing better." So that is what I have been doing, focusing on learning and knowing God more. And by spending good quality time with him each day and living out what I read, He becomes my greates prize. And therefore, the more you know God the more you can TRUST him with your life, and then all the more he gives you a desire for his will for your life.
I feel so much more whole and I can honestly say that I desire Jesus more than I desire a husband. And let me tell you, I told God, it's hard for me to even imagine not desiring something so much. So I know that God was the one who totally transformed my heart!! I still want to get married, but now it just doesn't obsess me. And everyday I have to say like multiple times a day, "God here are my desires, my prayers etc, I give them up to you and I trust you with my life and then just REST in Jesus."
So i don't have a guy in my life, but I'm totally ok with that! God has been opening my eyes to see the blessings all around me, he has been giving me such a heart of thankfulness and joy that I could NEVER have realized on my own. I feel so much more whole. Maybe it's because I'm doing what I was made to do. And the man who gets me one day will have a girl who doesn't need him to fulfill her, because she is already fulfilled in Christ.
I encourage you to remain faithful, even when you feel God has ignored or abandoned you! HE HASN'T!!! You are his treasure, he wants you to remain faithful, he LOVES you and I promise that you will feel that. There WILL be results in your waiting and in your trials, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" -Ps 37. That might not be a physical blessing, maybe your faith will grow so tremendously that it will fulfill you more than anything on this earth ever could and that is the biggest prize! Trust me, it's refreshing and freeing.
I'm going to write another blog just under this one that is like part 2 to this one...... it's more of what is happening in my life:)