I can't spell that word right. I don't know what it is, i don't spell the word often, but when i do.... I usually do it wrong. Like when I text all my friends that we were ENGANGED. I'm sure they assumed it was auto correct. They were wrong.
So get to the story already Tara!!!
Kevin and I had obviously talked about getting married, i think we knew fairly fast into 'us' that we could see a future.
Actually, I knew on the first date.
To quickly catch you up: a mutual friend had introduced us, we started talking on fb, talked on the phone and four days later met in person:)
I really really liked Kevin from the emails and the four hour long phone calls, but you just never know! What if that chemistry just isn't there face to face?
So in the car on the way to meet him for coffee I started to fear.... i almost turned around. It can't go wrong if I don't go right? I just don't want to get close to someone and be vulnerable, and put yourself out there and expose your children if it all turns to shambles in a few months.
I was listening to 'Jesus Culture' - your love never fails. And one of the lines is: "There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning" I felt like the Lord was so clearly saying, Tara, this is your morning!!!!!!! And I had that peace wash over me, that peace that passes all understanding. Then the bridge of the song says, "You make all things work together for my good" (romans 8:28) God was saying it again, "Tara, this is the good I worked out for you!! Go enjoy the gift I have for you!" And kevin has been a HUGE gift in our lives. God knows exactly what he is doing.
Bottom line: I SO clearly felt this was from God, He was behind this, and before it. So i went with peace, and alot of excitement. Ok and still a bit of nervousness. ANd we had the BEST date!!! Such instant chemistry and I just had a very strong feeling that this would be my last first date.
So last Saturday Kev and I went on a date, actually it didn't start off like a typical, romantic, hey you're getting engaged kind of date - thanks to me. We went to superstore first, because that's what you do when you have no kids. Grocery shop. You take advantage of every second you don't have two little (precious) boys in your cart. Hey i had no idea that Kevin had better plans:)
We had already eaten dinner so the plan was to go for a nice dessert. however in this town there is no where to go for a nice dessert. (oh i miss you papa haydns) so we did what we did at the end of our first date, we went to coldstone and got ice cream:) then we stopped at a secluded look out over the beautiful lake. We ate our ice cream and talked, laughed and were just ourselves. i think eating ice cream in a car, feet on the dash and not in a fancy restaurant is so much more us, you can be yourselves, let loose and laugh as loud as you want :-)
We got out of the car and the air was chilly, but the moon was bold and bright, the stars were just peaking out through the clouds and the waves were splashing the rocks below. Me and Kevin, and Gods incredible creation, perfect.
He wrapped his arms around me.
We shivered. no wait, i shivered.
And then he said something sweet and
He got down on one knee.....
And you want to know what I did?
I was so shocked (because honestly i didn't expect it THIS night)
I told him to.... shut up!!!
Let me re hash it for you:
tara: shut up!! no way!!! Get outta here!!! KEVIN!!!
Oh yes I did.
I'm just glad he never took me literally. See he knows me well.
Kevin: Tara, you are the most amazing blessing in my life.......
And the sad thing is, i don't remember what else he said, but i do remember this:
Tara, will you marry me?
There was no hesitation. I was over the moon. This was real and this was awesome.
When he put the ring on my finger I could see in the moonlight it was not a tiny rock, I'm ok with that;) He did good girls. He did good! I like sparkle, the bigger the better and he took me quite literally. What a great man.
He designed the ring from scratch, drew a picture and had it waxed, then put into gold. I have never worn something so beautiful in all my life.
The boys are super excited! I told them the next morning and MIcah was like, cool! now let's play spiderman! Jake jumped up and down a bit and smiled alot. They kind of already knew it was coming too:) Precious moment was when i heard jake tell Kev, "i'm so glad you're going to marry my mommy!" And he has been asking questions about what Kevin will get to do with us once we're married. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!
To be blessed with a man who I trust with my kids. A man who has no lazy bone is his body, A man who makes me laugh.
A man who loves my kids as his own and takes his role with us very seriously.
Becoming a new dad is a HUGE responsibility, a father is held responsible for alot and he knows this. And to see him know this and still embrace us and want to lead these boys through life with me, teaching and guiding them, enjoying them and loving them and preparing them to go out into the world overwhelms me to tears. He is soo intentional and loving with them and with me, life is sweet with Kevin.
We're planning a short engagement, so listen for wedding bells this summer...sometime, somewhere, in this world.
Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers and sweet words. i am so thankful for all the love and support we have had.