Wow, I get engaged and bam i stink at blogging! I have totally legitimate excuses though, i promise:)
Let's sum it up:
We're selling two houses, buying a third, raising two wild, yet wonderful little boys and learning how to do it as two parents instead of just one (which rocks!) maintaining relationships with family and friends and plan a wedding! All really wonderful things, but well... it's alot to juggle.
We're getting married on June 17th, which is fathers day. (Three weeks away!!!!!!)
We just chose the day randomly, but later realized it's fathers day! I think i know what we'll get Kev.... how does a whole family sound?! What a gift! But it's a gift for us too, on Fathers day, My heavenly Father and my earthly father will give me away (again:) to the new daddy of my boys:) It's all just so incredible to me.
It is a very small wedding, which is very difficult not inviting ALL those you love, but we had to keep it small, one for the smaller venue, and two because it's the boys day too and my eldest doesn't do well at all with large crowds, especially with ppl he doesn't see very often. He isn't a cheek pincher kind of kid;) So we're just praying ppl understand our choice and love us anyway! The boys are SOOO excited to get a new daddy, now they say, they have three dads! God, Preston and Kevin:)
We're having a rooftop wedding! It overlooks a lake, so beautiful! We chose such an amazing location sober didn't have to feel we had to decorate a ton, if u know me u know I love to decorate but I didn't want to make the wedding a show, it's a celebration of a very huge and important commitment and we wanted that to b the focus.
I think about my life today and all I can really say is thank you God!! His blessings are the sweetest, he wants more than just ok for us, and he will show us that if we walk closely with Him.
Although life is great, It can b easy to complain about the small things, the day to say things, parenting is still hard, ( 5 is a great age, 3, not so much!) but I think I have a different perspective because of losing Preston. I know that I love much deeper. And I appreciate things far more! I try to treasure moments more because I know how a moment can become a memory so fast and often times a memory u wish u appreciated a little more.
After u lose someone I think it's safe to say you see life through different lenses. Life Sloooooooows down. You stop and see The bigger picture more, u value the little things more, u see things u didn't see before, and your mind isn't wondering what the future has in store as often. I am more content then I ever have been. And I know I can say I was even before I met Kevin but yea he adds a whole new dimension that is nothing short of fabulous.
I know he is Gods best for me so if u are single or a single parent dont ever settle because u are lonely, wait on God and in his perfect timing he will bring along that one he picked for just you.
It was soo hard for me to imagine anyone loving me and my kids. Especially if they weren't his flesh and blood, one friend who is a step parent told me he will never love my kids as much as he will love his own biological kids. And now I think that is such a lie, with God u can love deeper than u ever imagined. And as I watch Kevin's affection for the boys I know that is true, he constantly blows me away through his words and actions.
How he loves them!! He will call them his sons and they will call him their daddy, a dad is not always blood.
They think the world of him, they wrestle with him and do man stuff and he reads them bible stories. They always are quick to inform me - when I am telling them to slow it down or stop being so rough - that I just don't understand man stuff (jake pulls that one)! Kevin was away all week working 14hr days so I told them that when Kevin comes back we have to take it easy on him and let him rest but jake says, "mom, no, he will b fine, he is so tough!"
Please don't think we have forgotten Preston. We talk about him almost everyday. Micah is still trying to figure out the difference between God the Father and Preston his father haha but they know and will always know how awesome Preston was.
I am just in awe that God brought me two wonderful men who love Jesus! My absolute favorite thing about Kevin is that he is a praying man. That man prays with me all the time, he knows exactly where to go when things get hard, when we need to say thanks, and when we just don't know what to do. There is a huge amount of confidence in that for me. When u know God is first in your mans life, well That tells me a whole lot about his character and how our life will go.
I can depend on Kevin, because he depends on God.
It's a huge deal becoming a new dad and husband, I pray for my man everyday, and I am so excited for our new adventures and our future as a family!
I'll make sure I post wedding pics:)