We sometimes go through long seasons of pain that seem far too much to bear.
I wanted to punish God for allowing me to have pain. Not just one pain but months of pain. Too much Lord!!!!!! If this is what you are allowing then I'm turning my back on you I decided... out of rebellion (does that ever go well?)
But I couldn't
It was impossible
Because I know he is real
I know he is good and he can't change that
I know he loves me and hasn't forgotten me
Even when I feel it's not true scripture corrects and challenges me.
Where can I go from your presence? Where can I flee from your spirit? NO where. And really, that's awesome isn't it? That's comfort 101.
I couldn't escape his love.
I couldn't escape his voice.
He draws me back to Him.
He meets me in my pain.
He leads me to read his word.
You have to read his word - it's restoration, it's freedom, it's life!
When the waters thrash around you...
Give him your pain, your anger, your discontentment, let him bring healing and comfort and while he heals and gently sews you back together, REST in Him. Wake up with Him, go about your day praying continuously and preach Him to yourself all day long.
And I promise you the raging waters of your heart will be calmed and you will see HIS light