Baby Belly

Here is me and my growing belly! I am 28 weeks or just starting my third trimester! yay! That is always an exciting thing:) The final countdown.  Pregnancy is going really well, other than being entirely uncomfortable and getting heartburn, oh and the 'I'm getting fat thing', but it's not so bad now, it's just the knowing what your belly looks like post baby! 

In other random news, Jake got a slight upgrade in bed today, I put his small rail on the side of his crib and he LOVES it.....in the great, now I can escape kind of way! He thoroughly enjoyed getting in and out when I was with him, but once it was lights out he stayed in bed, yes! I think he takes after his mama and is afraid of the dark!  Is it bad if i still sleep with a nightlight? 

I have really been feeling better emotionally the past couple of days, which is a nice break from the ordinary! I've been discovering that the super down times are getting a little further apart, but I still carry an extreme sadness and emptiness within me.  There are certain triggers that break my heart no matter what, like love songs, or anything valentines day or daddy's with their little kids, or emergency vehicles and of course places that we shared memories, maybe it's the firsts that are the most difficult. Even as I sit here and write this blog I can see the I-5 highway and as all the cars pass by I can't help but hate the highway,  I have ever since the accident, because it's just a constant reminder of "that night." Betcha never thought you'd hear that one, but it's so true!

If you think about us you can still pray!! I appreciate your prayers a TON! Please pray that I continue to heal in a healthy way...there is a very fine line between healthy grieving and unhealthy - it would be super easy to slip into a deep depression, concentrating on what I don't have rather than on what I do, but God is faithful and is really helping me keep my head above those waters. And also pray for Jake and his healing, I know it doesn't sound like a two year old can grieve, but he is, he has slowed down asking to see daddy, which is good for him, sad in a way to see, but it's a sign he is moving on and not holding onto false hope, accepting that daddy is not coming back.  When he sees pictures of daddy or things that he relates to daddy, like guitars, basketball or stars/moon he'll always say, "God-Dada" and I say, that's right, daddy is with God in Heaven and he smiles and says, "Ya!" What a sweetie! He is making this so much more bearable!